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23/12/2003 17:8
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ibi
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מאת:
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Hilel's birth story - long and in English
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כותרת:
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hello forum girls
I've been around here since the middle of my pregnancy more or less, mostly reading, rarely writing - because of the english-only system and because I had little to say, having been new to this world. the birth stories were always bringing tears to my eyes and so I thought it's a way to give something back for all the wealth of information and this whole world that was opened to me by you girls.
so
we moved to Munich following a job offer one week after I discovered that I was pregnant. it was kind of strange to go through this amazing period so far from friends and family, but everything was going very very well so I worked and worked and moved apartments and bought furniture and carried heavy things --- until finally my body decided that enough was enough, and so in week 31 I arrived bleeding to the hospital and was diagnosed with "placenta previa marginalis" which means a placenta that doesn't cover completely the opening but does sit very low and cover it partly. I also had contractions all the time. I had to stay in the hospital 10 days and was told to forget about the home birth that i was planning. The decision to go to this specific hospital for the birth was kind of made for me as the doctors already knew me and it seemed logical. it's an OK hospital, very hospital-like (there are hospitals here that are more into natural stuff) but still with a more natural approach than anything in Israel (as I understand from other girls stories) and with very good statistics regarding (no) hitarvuyot lemineihen, and there was the esthetic extra value of an old building with the appearance of a catholic convent (including the Jesus on the wall above the door of my room and the fish on friday).
At this point I did give up the home birth idea. There was something comforting in the way the hospital crew took care of everything, how I didn't have to think too much. and I said to myself: finally what is important is that a healthy baby will be born, the experience itself is secondary, and maybe in the next pregnancy it will be possible.
I went home to shmirat herayon and after about 2 months I got out of bed and came back to life. The idea of a home birth was floating again and 2 weeks before the due date I went and checked again, but the tests said: NO. the placenta is still too low and I might bleed too much.
I found a very sweet midwife appropriately called Angelika who does home births but also the second part of midwifery as happens here (and payed by the insurance!) - which is support and help after the birth - help with breast feeding, cleaning of the baby, checking of the mother etc etc. She couldn't do the birth itself because the hospital only uses their own midwives.
Although everybody was telling me that probably the baby will come too early, the date of birth passed and nothing happened. sometimes stronger contractions, once my doctor checked (about a week before the due-date) and found out I was one finger open... but nothing REALLY happened.
it was a thursday evening, week 40+4, Ori came home from work and declared that he finished all his duties in this project he was working on and now he can stay home with me and wait for the birth. I informed him that I just had a strong one 5 minutes ago. we didn't take it very seriously after all the false alarms of the past, but by 2 AM friday I realized that there's a pattern. At 3 AM I got up and started to organize a bit, and at 4 we took a taxi to the hospital, smiling and happy. we got there and I was put on a monitor: contractions every 2-3 minutes, but I was only 1 cm open (still, the same 1 cm from the week before?). The very nice doctor said I better get some sleep because I'm heading for a long day. She gave me something to calm the pain and sent us downstairs to the recovery ward. Ori wasn't allowed in the room because there was another woman there. Her already born baby was screaming and screaming, so I couldn't sleep, and the medicine didn't stop the pain, but did make the contractions much less frequent. in the meantime 2 more women and their babies were put in the room - it's been a busy night at the hospital.
After breakfast (they're not into tzom around here) we went back upstairs for a long series of monitorings and waiting sessions including drinking of shemen-kik to get the digestion system working and so to get the contractions more frequent. Each time I had to deal with a new doctor and a new midwife, not all of them spoke English and generally it was becoming a nightmare. The birth wasn't developing and I was getting depressed and even cried at some point. Finally I was sent again to the room downstairs where I was supposed to wait for something to happen - probably again without Ori and with a bunch of woman and babies around. We felt very helpless and ready to do as we were told, when a nice older woman doctor who knew us from the morning passed by and asked how it was going. We told her and she said - it will take a long time, maybe hours, maybe days, if you prefer you can go home and wait there instead of in the hospital. Yes! I want!
so off we went after 11 hours in the hospital, it was about half past three in the afternoon and already the contractions seemed easier to bear, just walking in the corridors of the hospital. I decided to arrive home and phone Angelika the midwife and ask her if I can phone her and ask her to come when I feel again that it's time to go to the hospital, so that she will check if there's any point... then I planned to take a walk in the neighborhood to the local Christmas market, then take a bath and maybe sleep a little.
We got home at about 16:00. I phoned Angelika who said that she's busy until 21:00, so that I should indeed do everything that I was planning to do and then phone her after 21:00 and she will come to check. As I put down the phone I realized that I'm not going for a walk. The contractions got stronger and I had to walk through them and make low sounds, kind of OMMs in different heights. at some point I went down on all four and moved me pelvis from side to side - it seemed to be the easiest position. I decided to go for the bath. Angelika told me that the bath could take away the contractions, and that if it happens it means that they weren't the REAL THING. I got in the bath and Ori sat next to me and made the same sounds as I did and reminded me about breathing every time a contraction arrived. they were pretty frequent by now and quiet painful, but I was in a good mood and thought about the force that passes through my body and how strange this whole experience is. Our lovely sweet cat Tula came to the bathroom and leaned her front paws on the bath and miewed with my sounds and purred. I was surprised that I found the bath enjoyable after a few friends told me they couldn't stand water on them during the contractions. Finally the water got too cold and I had enough. I got out and found myself unable to do anything except sit on all four on the bathroom floor, move my pelvis and make my voices, and the contractions were now almost one after the other with hardly any breaks. Ori was reminding me about breathing and massaging my lower back. I tried to get dressed but finally only managed to put underwear, socks and a sweater in between the contractions. I asked Ori to phone Angelika and tell her that we're going to the hospital NOW and so I will not phone her again at 21:00. it was 17:00 when he phoned her. in the meantime I was starting to shout with every contraction. I asked Ori to wait with calling for a taxi until I get dressed, but couldn't make a lot of progress... I was still in the bathroom when I got up to go to my bedroom, and suddenly I felt a strong pressure down, like a small ball pressing from inside down to the perineum. It was smaller than a baby's head, I didn't understand what it is and stressed out. I really wanted to get to the hospital now. I tried to stop it and got somehow to the bedroom. Ori for some reason insisted that I wear the overall and not the ugly training trousers.. (later we talked about it and he said it was about keeping everything normal and by the plan because he was quiet nervous himself). halfway through wearing the overall the pressure became so strong that I could no longer hold it, and while thinking that I must not fight myself but should flow with anything that comes I let go - and the water spilled out of me and all over the trousers, underwear, floor and bed. I could calm down a bit for a few seconds, but then came a contraction more painful than any before. from that moment on they were so painful that I couldn't concentrate on breathing or keeping a comfortable position anymore. I was on my knees on the floor, all this water around me and still coming out of me, screaming "no no no" and throwing my body on the bed and floor. Ori asked me if we could still take a taxi, or should we call an ambulance or call Angelika and ask her to come. I told him to call Angelika and ask her what to do. He did and she said that she'll be here in 5 minutes. In the meantime I was still screaming and out of control of my body, although Ori was still trying to massage me and tell me to breath. He asked me to move away from all the water and more into the middle of the room, it took me a few minutes to do that. I started to tell him that I can't take it anymore and that I want to die... since we both read about this stage - that when the woman says that it normally means that the end is close, we both got more stressed without talking about it: me about not ever getting to the hospital, Ori about having to birth me without a midwife... (it's funny, as much as I wanted a natural birth, at home, when it actually was happening I stressed out about not being in the hospital. By that time all I wanted is someone to take the responsibility away and a large needle in my back).
The doorbell rang and Ori went to the door. I was on all four on the floor of the bedroom, wearing socks and a sweater, my bottom facing the door. Angelika came in, looked and said: "we have here 5 to 10 minutes. I will take my coat off and I'm with you". Ori was so happy: "did you hear? in 10 minutes maximum he will be out!" and all I could think about was the Epidural that I will not be getting. Angelika sent Ori to bring towels and place them on the floor, I lay on them on my back, half sitting, Ori holding me from behind, one leg on Angelika (I asked her first) and one on the floor. I got rid of all my clothes and was sweating like a horse. She explained to me how I should push and breath and I told her that this is the last time I'm having a baby. "they all say that", she said, "you'll forget later".
Like in a classic movie she ordered Ori to go and bring a bowl with hot water. But then the contractions started again and I had to push. Tula the amazing cat came and sat next to Angelika and looked. I was shouting and pushing, I expected to feel a very strong need to push but I didn't, there was some kind of a drive or need, but not something very strong or definable. After 2 contractions she asked if I wanted her to cut me so that it will end now, or can I wait another 5 minutes without a cut. suddenly I became brave again and said no, and Ori from behind me, brave at my expense: "we don't want a cut". one more strong push and the head was out. I think he made a little sound. I thought the body will be less painful but it turned out that the baby had one arm folded next to his shoulder, I was pushing and Angelika was maneuvering, it was hell but finally out he came, the navel cord around his neck, a bit blue but with 9 and then 10 on his apgar tests. I could never imagine the feeling of seeing a baby coming out of my body. Even though I knew this will happen, seeing it was the weirdest experience of my life. Angelika put him on me and I was again surprised to feel nothing. slowly the emotions came and I was falling in love with this wet and delicate creature that was crawling on me.
After a few minutes Ori cut the navel cord. The placenta was half pushed - half pulled out, I think that Angelika was a bit nervous about the amount of blood that was spilling out of me. she examined the placenta - complete and perfect. She wiped the baby and helped me into the bed. The bleeding was heavy at first but stopped quickly, and my uterus returned to it's original size and position in about 3 days.
Hilel is perfect and we adore him. He started sucking from my breasts about half an hour after he came out, and it's his favorite pass-time ever since.
Something about the experience of the birth:
I still have scarey dreams in which I have to give birth again now. It takes time to deal with this experience, and it's something I wasn't prepared for. Once the baby is there, everything else becomes a part of the past and we seem to forget about it, but it took me about a week to work this thing that happened to me. because the birth was so quick - at 17:55 Hilel was out (less than 2 hours from the moment we got home), we both were physically quickly adjusted, but emotionally there was some catching up to do. I believe this is why he was so restless in the first 2 nights, eating every hour. As for me - it seems like my body was over it but in my mind I was still experiencing the birth for a few more days. The pain was unbelievable, it redefined the idea of pain for me. I think these things are somehow overlooked - we all know it's painful, but it's impossible to guess what it really means.
after 2.5 weeks - I do begin to forget, I can imagine that one day I will want another baby... I hope that I will forget enough to want to do it again at home. I'm happy about the way it happened, even if it was a bit traumatic.
I want to thank my dear bambi for the friendship and support and for putting a question for me when I was hospitalized, and also to thank Ilana Shemesh and Dr. Ber for the calming answers, and Uriel's Efrat for the help offer and the other girls who responded for the care.
ibi.
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