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16/12/2004 22:30
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shachar
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מאת:
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סיפור הלידה - לא יודעת איך למחוק את הראשון - זה עדיין באנגלית ועדיין קצת ארוך...
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כותרת:
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Shakked Sharah's Birth Story
Eleven weeks and two days ago Hilary said I would not give birth that night and that it could be two, three, four nights or more until your birth. Little did she know…
I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for a few weeks. Usually, they were strong when I had to use the bathroom. Sometimes it was hard to walk. But since they weren't regular I figured they weren't the real thing. I was too uptight and busy – the house wasn't organized, I hadn't finished my paper on ADHD yet… first I had to finish that, then I could give birth.
Your Aunt Lisa called and told me that there is a full moon, and if I go on and the moonlight would shine on my belly – for sure I'd give birth that night. It was the night of Erev Succoth.
At around midnight Daddy and I went to sleep, early for once. At twenty past I woke up from a contraction. I had taken note to myself that this was the first time that I had woken up from a contraction in this pregnancy. It happened again twenty minutes later. At 1:15 am I decided to wake Daddy up and call Hilary. My contractions seemed to be getting closer together and they were stronger. Also, I had a lot of pressure in my lower back and pelvic area. I figured that if I was waking from contractions, that it was the real thing.
The only thing that troubled me was that I needed to shit (pardon the language), and I did… so – were they really contractions or did I only need to go to the bathroom? I woke Hilary up. She said it was probably nothing and that I should go to the bathroom. Of-course, she said, that if the contractions are closer together or stronger – any change – I should call her again. Well, I did shit. But the contractions were also stronger.
We tried going back to sleep at around 3am. We even thought of making love. We really enjoyed hugging and cuddling together. Those were blissful moments of much closeness, love and excitement.
We fell asleep, and then I woke up from a contraction. I suppose that I was so tired that I fell into a deep sleep and thought that a long time had passed by. But, it was only ten minutes. This went on for a while. At around 3:30 I got up. I could not stay in bed any longer. I was too excited. Was I really in labor or did I only need to… shit?
When I walked around the contractions were every 5-6 minutes. At around 4 am I thought we should call Hilary. She asked me if I wanted her to come to check me. I said I did but that Daddy didn't think it was necessary. The strain around the pelvic area was greater than before. Hilary asked me to stick my finger up and see if I could feel the head. I put my finger in and I could feel your head at about half a finger. It was so exciting to feel it. I couldn't believe it! I asked Daddy to check as well. He checked and said that he could feel it, but then said that it could be something else. I asked him if he ever felt something like that … ;-)
Hilary said she'd take a shower and come over. Then she called back and asked if I wanted Sarah, the doula in training, to come over. Sure – why not. When she arrived I stepped into the bathtub and had a bath-shower. It was good being on my knees or on all four and feel the hot water flowing on my back. Then Hilary came. She checked me at around 5:30. I had a 4-5 opening.
Shir woke up at around 6 am. She came into the bedroom. We explained that I was working hard to get the baby out. She made nice to me. I was so moved that she was in there with me. A part of the process. Part of the family. It felt so right. She wasn't overly excited. She wasn't scared. She just accepted it. It was so natural. I am so moved thinking about it now. Remembering it. After a few minutes she was more interested in "the new person", Sarah, and she took her by the hand to show Sarah her toys. Sarah went with her. Then we called grandma to come over.
I must say that we had planned this birth to be more intimate than it actually was. But since home birthing is important to me, it was important for me to let Sarah come, even if she was a bit of a stranger. Also, I wanted my mother to come to be part of it, and I wanted her to help with Shir. Finally, we ended up not canceling with Shir's babysitter either, who came at 8 am, so that Sarah was in charge of photography, my mother was with me, and the babysitter was with Shir. Of-course Hilary was there too, and Daddy who I couldn't have done without. He was massaging me with his big warm hands. His presence was so important to me. And we were alone at times too.
This was a very different birth than I expected. I remembered Shir's quiet and calm birth. I had preparation for Shir's birth – ten days of contractions that wouldn't let me sleep, a head that I could feel wiggle every time I stuck my finger up… This was different. This time there were more people than when Shir was born (then it was Hilary, Daddy, Aunt Lisa and me). Also, I was less prepared. I felt that I wasn't really able to connect with myself because I was "in touch" with the outside, as opposed to Shir's birth when I was completely "tuned" inwards. I felt this labor as hurting me more. In Shir's birth I didn't remember the pain. I experienced it in a different way. But not in a worse way. It was good to hear Shir in the background. At one point, a bit before 7am, I did request that the window shades be closed and candles to be lit. I only wanted to hear the CD I had in the background (a CD of dolphins – meditation music that Yurit brought me the day before).
At 7:30 I had an opening of 7.
At around 8am Michal, Shir's babysitter came over. Shortly after that I asked my mom to come in the room. I felt it was coming closer. Most of the time I was on all four, on the bed, leaning my belly on pillows and rocking back and forth. At around that time I wanted to change positions. I lay on my side, with pillows to accommodate me. My contractions were 2 1/2 minutes long every 4-5 minutes, long but with breaks. Steady and strong. At 9 am Hilary checked me. I was wide open and I wanted to push.
The umbilical cord was loosely rapped around your neck, a fact I learned after you were born. Loosely is the key word!
Your father caught you when you came out, with Hilary's guidance. I watch it over and over again on video and I am moved to tears every time.
You were born at 9:30 am, Erev Succoth, September 29th, 2004.
I held you immediately, chest to chest, heart to heart, and requested that Shir would come in to the room (even though she was busy playing in the bathtub). She came into the room naked like the day she was born. How appropriate…
Her first reaction was total shock. She was stunned. She wasn't interested in me at all. She only had eyes for you. She kept saying "baby out". She made nice to you and to me (even though she kept saying that I was dirty… she didn't even want to nurse!!!)
A few moments later you began to cry.
After the umbilical cord stopped pumping, Shir and daddy cut it.
Is that the end of your birth? Your journey began when we conceived you and the first part ended with your birth. It is just the beginning of what I hope will be your wonderful journey in the world – our journey together and yours alone.
Welcome my lovely Shakked! Thank you for joining us. Thank you for waking up exactly at this moment (from sleep/nursing) and smile and laugh with me!
I love you!!!
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