25/12/2003 14:54
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ibi
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מאת:
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hi nanny
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כותרת:
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first, thanks for the reaction - all these reactions are so heart-warming and also add some things to think about.
I remember your birth story - I read it a few days / weeks ago I guess? -the days are confused. anyway I remember it impressed me because there was a feeling of pgiut in it that was very touching. Also it was somehow similar to my experience - of course it's very different but some of the emotions and feelings that you described I could identify with. I think what dr liat holler harary wrote to me about which memory to take on and what to hang on to is an important lesson fo all of us.
about your questions
tov, bambi explained it for me, at the moment that the doctors told me not to have the birth at home I gave up the idea of a home birth. It came back towards the end of the pregnancy for both Ori and me - because everything seemed so normal again, and because I wanted this special experience still, and for Ori it seemed important as we are here in this foreign place, to do something that would mean that if we did this we can do everything we want, something about confidence. however I consulted with my midwife and with another midwife that I know here and they both said that I have to check the position of the placenta and if it's back in place I can do it at home. I wasn't 100% sure about what I want, but I went and checked it and the answer was that I shouldn't do it at home. On the other hand, when I was at the hospital these 10 days in october the doctors were stressed about the bleeding at first because they didn't know where it was coming from, but finally they determined that it came from the tzvar harechem and not from the placenta and that it was caused by the pressure of the early contractions that I was having - so in fact it wasn't a dangerous bleeding. This also made me feel more confident, and somehow I "knew" that it will be a good birth. What happened was that we got stuck at home because it went so quickly, and during the birth there wasn't much time to be affraid - I was affraid but thanks to the many stories that I read I somehow knew what to do and that I should open myself to this experience and try not to stop it. Ori asked to add that we were both very very stressed in this "i want to die" stage - I just wanted to die basically, but he felt like he had all the responsibility and was scared that the midwife will not make it here on time, or that she will explain to him what to do over the phone with her broken English.
again it turned out to be long... I hope that your birth is now easier for you to handle and that the next one will be a wonderful one
ibi
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