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27/7/2001 01:39
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Ilana Shemesh, natural midwife
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מאת:
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Ada, one of the bravest women I met
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כותרת:
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Dearest Ada,
You are one of the bravest women that I have ever met, and I have met many. I cried when I read your story, even though it was not new to me. As your days of unproductive labor wore on, I felt your pain and disappointment deeply and yet I had no solutions. I searched my soul and conscience to try to find the answers also. Such a motivated and informed woman deserved such a better birth experience. Every year there is one story like yours. I have no answers. It hurts like hell. Sometimes with all our planning and knowledge we just can't control nature and the forces above. You are a small woman, with a big baby. Although it is rare, I do believe that your birth was a classic example of true cephalo-pelvic disproportion. The baby was just too big to come through your pelvis. Perhaps if the baby had been 2700 grams it might have worked. This you had no control over. In retrospect, we could have tried chemical induction via prostaglandin and maybe at 38 weeks it might have been small enough to pass through. However, we both didn't want the typical hospital induced labor, with the pretty high failure rate also. We hoped for the best. At least you and I know that you really gave it your best.You tried everything and what adds insult to injury is the unnecessary anguish you suffered due to inconsiderate staff and all the problems with the baby. You should have been informed of every treatment and especially of the spinal tap. Hospitals can be life-saving places but the lack of communication and dignity that happens sometimes is appalling. There can be scars left in your soul that take much longer to heal than those on your belly. When you have the strength, maybe it might help you to heal if you can make a meeting with the staff and vent your emotions and experiences. You are a fighter and crusader, and maybe this will soothe your wounds and the frustration you feel. I only wish that there was something more that I could have done. You will come out of this a stronger person from all of this, but you have paid a high price. I have deep respect and admiration for you and am always there if you need to vent feelings or issues. I think that the lessons are: We can't control everything in life even though we try our damnest. You need to pat yourself on the back and say: I did my absolute best, and I have a great baby, loving husband, and I am strong and I will let this pass as it was out of my control, and go on with my life. I've heard that homeopathic staphysagria helps with feelings of being violated. Maybe it will help, and of course, loving your baby and letting time heal your wounds. Love, Ilana > I
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